Dating a woggle…

This is not me - and I have no idea if she has ever used a woggle...

This is not me – and I have no idea if she has ever used a woggle… *innocent face*

I have stuck this post in the category activities – not sure it really qualifies actually, as its just me doing the “activity” and it involves parts of my body that haven’t really been that active for a very, very long time…

However, I hadn’t a clue where else to stick it….

Last week, I went to Aquafit.

It was a necessary evil, both for me, and for the other middle aged ladies that turned up there I am sure. I just wasn’t prepared for the things that the instructor would make me do with a woggle.

In fact, whoever called it a woggle must have got it confused with some rather exotic sex toy – because that is JUST what it sounds like. It doesn’t sound like a long, thin floatation devise designed to aid middle aged women in getting fit by placing it in ever more ridiculous places about their person.

No it doesn’t.

It also isn’t easy to keep it about ones person when you are standing in about four foot of water. In fact, its bl**dy difficult to keep anything about your person when you are doing that, star jumping, standing on one leg, and trying to avoid looking at the young, fresh-faced life guard opposite you who is clearly trying not to laugh.

Add to this the fact that you desperately need the loo, as you gave birth six years ago and everything went in the plumbing department and star jumping is kind of like having six glasses of wine to a women who has even given birth. Same effect on the bladder, but without the silly giggling.

Despite all this, I am determined to go again. I may have looked a sight jumping up and down neck deep in water, but not as much of a sight as I will do if I continue not to exercise. I haven’t done anything remotely serious about my expanding girth for far too long.

My son said to me afterwards:

“Mummy, why do you HAVE to exercise twice a week?”

Managing to make me feel all guilty for using that woggle…which might have been fair if it had been a sex toy…however, probably not fair as all I am really trying to do is to keep in a chipper condition so I am about for longer and can annoy the hell out of him well beyond his teenage years.

So, I have a date with that woggle every week now. Here’s to hoping that lifeguard can continue to keep a straight face.

Do you exercise? Do your kids let you out of the house? Mine clearly don’t….